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Written by: Akan Imoh

They gathered at the Ratosein Airfield, ready to board the new J1 Bombers that had come in from Russia. Each of those war planes could be fitted with different kinds of bombs, ranging from gravity bombs to laser guided ones. But, the beauty of theses planes was the ability to fly undetected. The stealth system had just been developed by Dr Ratson and team. The acclaimed Engineer had perfected the art.


The mission was simple. Col. J.T. Ratkinson was to lead a squadron of thirteen J1 bombers, carrying a total of one hundred Rat Marines, armed to the teeth with Kalashnikovs, Ak47s, grenades, and the best items in the armoury. The target was the Presidential office in Abuja. The planes were to fly stealthily, and the commandoes would quietly parachute down, storm the office, and then destroy the furniture and fittings.

Ratkinson’s team was supported by a particular tac team made up of the very best of the Rat Military. They came from the SAD department of the Military. SAD means Serious and Deadly. This department was responsible for very dangerous operations. They were trained to operate in any location in the world. These guys usually had sharper teeth and longer mouth, humans sometimes called them ‘as in’.

Six of them from SAD were to join the large military force going to Abuja. They were not to get involved directly in the operations, but, rather were to be in charge of strategy and recon. They were also supposed to gather enough Intel with they would launch another attack soon.

Rats invade presidential office
Rats invade presidential office

The operation wouldn’t be successful without mentioning the important role played by the Rat National Intelligence Agency, popularly known as RIA, Rat Intelligence Agency. These guys were the best spies on earth. They are best known for carrying out Operation Enmity. They succeeded in creating enmity between Dogs and Cats. Cats were hunting and killing them; they needed to do something about it. So, they started a war between dogs and cats.

The RIA is a sophisticated unit. They spent more than five months gathering Intel on the raid. They had meetings with some humans. Their agents met with top leaders of the PDP. They understood that the office was vacant and that the VP wasn’t using the place. They got schematics of the building, and for three months, they trained the commandoes who would carry out the attack. They built a mockup Aso Rock and trained for sixteen hours a day, six days a week, for three months.

The D-Day came, and at 0600, the planes departed. It was a systematic move. Within fifteen minutes, all planes were en route Abuja. The commandoes were ready for action. They had trained extensively. Each of them knew the layout of Aso Rock at the back of their palms.

They parachuted directly above the Aso Rock grounds at precisely 0730. The planes came in undetected by radar and sonar systems installed by the Buhari led Administration. The commandoes landed at the east wing of the grounds, regrouped and separated. There were four groups to handle this operation. A particular group was to neutralise the security forces on the ground; another was to disable every alarm or camera system on the ground. The third group was tasked with the actual work of destroying the office; the last group was to stand guard and prepare for evacuation. The special team from SAD was tasked with sneaking through principal offices and stealing documents that would deem relevant and beneficial.

Presidential Rats invade presidential office
Presidential Rats invade office of the Presidency

It was an operation characterised by high-level precision. Everyone went into action. Back at the RIA, the President of the Rat Nation, alongside the top Military Brass were watching live feeds.

The operation went smoothly, the forces on the ground were not expecting an invasion from the Rat Nation. And within forty-eight minutes, the operation was successfully over. The fourth team radioed directly for air lift. The planes that brought them had headed over to the PDP head offices to refuel. This was a deal that was struck with the RIA and PDP.

Within an hour, the commandoes were back at the Rat Nation. No one was lost in operation. It was hugely satisfying. This will make it as one of the best military raids ever. It will be studied in Military and Strategic Schools all over the world.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is exactly how the operation went down.

Read also: see the worst lie told against Buhari.

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